ellen huang

but you don’t understand, i have found love

I know I emerged from the fire
but what is flame to me when
children can be made from stones and ashes?

I’m not one for the rush of the waterfall
and all that gasping for breath.

I’m not one for the rapids
where you tumble through rings, veils, sheets
bury yourself in that secret quiet place
and rouse to birthing suckling twins.

what is darkness to me when I am of light?

but I am one to trust—fall—leap into cold waters

shouting, It is the Lord!
throwing off fear like a garment
flying toward this bonfire
dancing undignified
without virgin sacrifice.

I am one to press the holes in his hands
say alongside him, hey, baptize me
on my own terms

for we both know embodiment of spirits like ours
call for nothing less
than wilderness.